Is the sound of committing to an actual Sleep Training Programme too much for you? The amount of information out there, if you baby will cry, understanding the techniques and methods used, what’s included in a programme, what’s the commitment and will you see results! 

These are all questions I get asked but also become obstacles for families to address their babies sleep. You may just want a little rest, to optimise sleep or just need some reassurance. 

Sometimes families come to me when already facing an emergency, so having some tricks up our sleeve for how to manage this situation is helpful. Even if the situation has become more urgent and desperate, children still need to have their needs for responsive, supportive care.

What is a Sleep Crisis? 

An urgent and unmanageable problem. When sleep deprivation kicks in and has a negative effect on one parent, both or their relationships with each other and the children. A Sleep Crisis could also be affecting safety if physical or mental health is run down. Life becomes a drag, not enjoyable and negative thinking can set in. Along with body ache, high anxiety, hypervigilant states, short term memory loss, trouble concentrating and brain fog. Sometimes these can be minor things but can lead to more serious incidents. Feelings of isolation or running away. Sleep is a vital need and gaslighting parents by saying its normal, sleepless nights will and it’s a phase can be damaging. It could be a simple as bedtime resistance and struggles to implement bedtime routines. 

A lot of the time when a family is going through a sleep crisis they are too exhausted to find a way out and carry out changes with sleep. Its easy to get stuck andfeel frustrated but making changes is even harder, especially if you don’t know what to do, where to start and how to make sense of your Sleep Plan. 

For anybody going through a Sleep Crisis its important to get some respite and make slow, steady and gradual changes and maintain responsiveness throughout the process. 

What Strategies can you use? 

When families reach this stage, even a small change can feel good; its knowing what to change, how to change it and when. 

• Share your feelings with somebody 
• Be around positive and easy people that make you feel safe and validate you
• Avoid any gaslighting statements
• Look into Post Natal Doula/Childminders/reach out for help from friends/familiy
• Work on your Physical and Emotional Wellbeing and make self care non negotiable. This could be 10 mins with a cup of tea or sit down with no gadgets and breathe. 
• Access Therapy and look for any underlying mental health issues with yourself and your partner, especially any Post Natal Depression or Birth Trauma Signs. Look for nightmares, high anxiety levels, Hyper vigilant at night, Flashbacks, mental fatigue 
• Eat 3 meals a day and plenty of water 
• Batch Cook/Keep mealtimes simple
• Book an appointment with your Health Visitor and GP for extra support 
• Work on naps and bedtime only rather than addressing night wakings
• Share bedtime with partners and care givers
• Explore some nighttime sleep strategies with your Sleep Consultant 
• If you are feeding to sleep, switch to rocking to sleep, preferably with your partner
• Share parenting and bedtime right from the beginning so your bay gets used to both parents
• Involve your partner in daytime activities and tag team/split chores
• Know and understand that night wakings and night feeds are ok. That these things can be worked on slowly and if you choose not to work on them – remember your child will grow out of grow out of them. Don’t feel pressured to have to address every night waking or drop every night feed. 
• Don’t compare yourself to your friends babies 
• Keep daytime activities low key and don’t put pressure on yourself to have to attend baby classes. There is plenty of time for this as your baby gets older! 
• Replace some night feeds with rocking if feeds and wake ups are hourly/too frequent. 
• Look at your capacity to change and how urgent the issue is. Prioritise what you would like to work on first
• Be ok with cat naps! Give an extra nap if naps are not consolidated and when you are settling for naps try for 15 mins only. If your baby doesn’t fall asleep, get t hem up and do a low key activity in another room and try again later. 
• Rule out other underlying causes of nighttime disturbance and health problems

Night Time Strategies 

These are strategies when daytimes optimised and you have the capacity for more change. 

• Co Sleep 
• Change the order of bedtime/consider a later bedtime
• Implement a Bedtime settling technique
• Use a side crib to be near the family bed 
• Change the person putting your baby to bed 
• If one parent finds it easy to go to bed early, then they could go to bed at the same time as their child, while their partner takes the first shift until 1am at which point they switch. 
• Or one parent could take on responsibility for the first two to three nights, and then the second parent does the subsequent two to three nights. Sometimes some respite really can enable both parents can be more rested before embarking on making changes at night. 
• If finances allow engage outside help for nights or consider hiring a Sleep Consultant. 
• Use Habit Stacking (Replace feeding at bedtime with rocking)
• Remove the sleep cue; so if the baby is used to mum breastfeeding, the partner takes over bedtime
• Replace some night feeds with rocking 
• Introduce a dream feed at 10pm for younger babies
• Use Black out Blinds and White Noise 
• Consider a floor bed to help their childhood accept some changes

book a free No Pressure chat with me on 07581410015! To look at sleep training your child. You can find me here: www.babysleeptrainer.uk

 

Seema x